Team Rocket Admin Clarissa [OC] (bandagedbandit) wrote in pokeboxes,
Team Rocket Admin Clarissa [OC]

Sneakin' around in Viridian Forest

Who: Clarissa, and any unfortunate chumps trainers who fall into her trap
What: The world's most incompetent Rocket Grunt is lurking in the dark undergrowth of Viridian Forest, aiming to snag a bunch of critters for her superiors. Better watch where you're walking, trainers!
Where: Viridian Forest
When: Current(ish)
Tone: Srs bsn Totally silly!
Notes: Clarissa's next event log wont be as long as this. xD There was just a lot of stuff I wanted to include and I couldn't decide which bits to jettison... >.>

Flawlessly obscured by the layer of dense bushes and scrubs which sprawled the forest, a lone Rocket Grunt lay in wait. Clarissa sat in the shadows ready and waiting to pounce, twitching with irritation...and also severe cramp - sitting crouched like this for hours on end really took its toll on your leg muscles. But it was mostly due to irritation. Clarissa seethed silently. When she had been handed the details of her latest assignment, Clarissa had been hardly able to control herself, bursting at the seams with anticipation - what marvelous job would she get to do this time? Hold up a Pokemart? Raid a Pokemon center? The moment it reached her hands she had excitedly ripped open the envelope to reveal that today's destination was...

Viridian Forest. Viridian Forest, for crying out loud! Clarissa had despaired on the spot and torn the envelope to shreds in a fit of rage. Were they fucking kidding?! Viridian Forest was where all the noobs hung out - the bottom-of-the-barrel trainers, the hopeless Champion wannabes with only a town map and a pidgey to their name. There was no chance in hell of encountering a trainer with pokemon even slightly stronger than ones you could catch in the wild with minimal effort. Did her superiors not know who she was? She was Clarissa, for crying out loud! One of the most bad-ass assets Team Rocket had in its arsenal. And yet she was still being reduced to scummy work like this after six loyal years in the organisation. Six! She should be an Admin by now! She'd put all the others in their places, that was for sure, yet she was stuck here with nothing but a giant net. What about those two bungling idiots and their talking Meowth that the Boss overly favoured? What were their names again? Jennie and Jay or something like that. They were the two biggest failures she'd ever met and yet they were supplied with gadgets worth millions for the tiniest of tasks. It wasn't as if they deserved it, always being taken down by that same measly kid. What was his name again? Rupert? Red? Ray? Red set off a few bells, but who would be dumb enough to name their kid a colour? No, it must be Ray. And yet she had only a single net! The nerve of it!

Still, the job had to be done. Clarissa checked that the trap was set. On the ground lie a net carefully hidden by leaves, on top of which Clefairy tottered around nonchalantly, happy to act as the bait. Who wouldn't want a Clefairy without the hassle of running around Mount Moon forever? The net was attached to a carefully hidden rope, slung over one of the thicker branches overhead, the end of it in the hands(?) of Blastoise, who waited in the bushes with its master, ready to pull on the rope upon her order and hoist up whichever unlucky bastard would be the one to make Clarissa's day.

The bushes nearby rustled, and Clarissa perked up, ready for action.
Tags: ic, kanto, silly
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And KEITH O'KEEFE sprung out of them totally ready for action.

Wherever there was action.

Leaves still clinging to his shorts, he whipped his head to the right!! then to the left!! looking for anything NEW AND INTERESTING. But nope. Nothing.

"This place is BORING," Keith proclaimed, throwing himself to the ground as his Squirtle wriggled out from under the bushes after him. Keith crossed arms and sat cross-legged on the ground, just frowning at the forest around him.
A voice! Clarissa peeked out from behind the hedge and saw a scrawny looking kid with the most ridiculous hair colour ever flop down on the grass just a little way away. Finally, a semi-decent theft target!

"Psst! Clefairy!" she hissed. The scowling pink pokemon spun on the spot to face it's master, awaiting instruction. Clarissa pointed silently at the stupid-looking trainer and the squirtle. Clefairy nodded and with a great deal of concentration, rearranged its mean features into an unnaturally joyful look and tottered in the direction of the young male.

Clarissa watched with full interest.

Go on, punk, make my day...
Keith looked up as the Clefairy approached, and his Squirtle inched closer to him, sensing some sort of danger. Keith, however, just stared at the Clefairy, not noting its unpleasant expression at first. But then he did.

"I thought Clefairys were supposed to be cute," Keith said. "You kinda look like someone stuck an eggbeater in your face!"
Clefairy's mangled artificial look of happiness immediately snapped to one of shock and anger, her trademark grimace settling back into place. E-eggbeater?! What did the human boy mean by that? Clefairy was cute! Clefairy was very cute! Her beloved Clarissa told her she was cute all the time, and Clarissa was never wrong. Clefairy's fur bristled. She'd teach this douche not to randomly insult an innocent pokemon and undermine the integrity of its master. Oh, she'd learn him some manners all right!

Clefairy began to mutter quietly, imitating the back-and-forth movement of a pendulum with her hands, glaring at her target. Within seconds a harsh white glow burst from the small pokemon, encasing Clefairy in a halo of light as she readied to attack.
"Whoa! A glowing Pokémon!" Keith clapped his hands to his face in exaggerated interest and joy. "Does it have glowsticks on it? Naahhh, I bet it's super rare or something!!" He thought for a moment, peered at Clefairy, then the expression of joy dropped off his face and he scrunched his nose.

"It's not blue, though. Come on, Squirtle, I'm bored!" He waved to his Squirtle, who was barely able to keep up, and scrambled after Keith as he walked off in the opposite direction.
What the--? Was this guy actually casually strolling away from her? For crying out loud, did the fool not realise he was about to be attacked? Clefairy felt like banging her head against something. Hard. This guy had obviously not been to a single trainer-school lesson in his life. Oh well, he was about to get the best form of education in the world - a practical demonstration! The halo of light exploded as the effects of Metronome manifested themselves, and two green vines burst from under the fur on Clefairy's back, zipping through the air and ensnaring the hapless trainer, binding his arms to his sides tightly. Clefairy smirked. Gotcha!

Behind the bushes, Clarissa was getting mad. Really mad. Why couldn't the stupid prey just play its part and walk neatly into the trap, just FOR ONCE? It would make her job so much easier, really, it would. "Enough of this bullshit!" she raged, bursting from the bushes. "Don't dare move, punk!" she snarled at the dumb-haired kid, entirely unnescensarily.
"WAAAUGGHHH!" Keith yelped, and flailed against the vines holding him together. Squirtle flailed also despite not being bound but it was kind of panicking. "Hey! What's the big idea? You've got a pottymouth! Let me go! I want to go hoooooooome!"

Man Viridian Forest sucked.
Clarissa took long, slow strides towards the struggling boy, grinning menacingly. "Nice job, Clefairy." She nodded approvingly at the pink pokemon, who gave her trainer an appreciative smile, wringing the vines just a little tighter around her helpless captive. Clarissa stood directly in front of the trapped trainer, bending down to look him straight in the eyes. Oh how she loved seeing the terrified expressions of the hapless trainers unlucky enough to cross her path. It was the part that really made her day.

"Well well well..." she smirked. "What have we here? A first-time trainer on their first real forest must really suck to be you right now, huh?"

Clarissa straightened up and turned her attention to the flailing pokemon in the grass. "Well, I'll be taking your pokemon now. It was really nice doing buisness with you...I do so hope we meet again!" she giggled, as she began to make a reach for the pathetic creature.
"It's not my first time!" Keith said indignantly. "It's my twenty-eighth!"

(It was a wonder that Keith could keep track for that long.)

Reacting a lot quicker than his trainer, Squirtle thought fast and leapt not at Clefairy, not at the vines that were binding Keith, but right at Clarissa -- and bit her square on the arm.
Clarissa shrieked as the damn turtle pokemon chomped down on her arm. She violently wrenched her arm away, yelling obscenities too vile even to write on the internet in the direction of the creature. Clefairy let out an indignant howl when she saw her precious mistress had been harmed. The vines around the trainer losened and fell away before dissapearing from existence completely as Clefairy ceased Metronome and unleashed all fury on Squirtle with Swift, star-shaped bursts of raw energy hurtling through the air towards the offending pokemon.

Clarissa's eyes pricked with tears as she nursed her bitten arm. The attack didn't even break the skin, as covered as her arm already was by a triple layer of bandages, but it pinched her right on the softer underside of her arm. That shit stung! Like, really badly! Clarissa urged herself not to cry. Broken bones didnt even phase her, she couldnt let such a tiny injury bring her down! But still...!

"Th-th-that really HURT!" Clarissa snivveled, hurriedly wiping away tears and paying no attention to the pair of pokemon warring it out a short distance away. "W-what do you mean this is your twenty-whateverth time here?"
Keith rolled away like some kind of child acrobat and scrambled to his feet, Squirtle joining him at his side. "I've been in this forest tons of times before! Like, uh, only the beginning part...but that's cause the guy at the PokéMart hates me and only gives me the bad maps!"
Clarissa gawped at the kid, wide eyed. He'd seriously been stuck trying to get through Viridian forest this long? Clarissa spluttered with laughter. This was hillarious! Man, this kid was so screwed if he couldn't even navigate his way through the first and most basic trial the journey of being a trainer had to offer. He was going to get eaten alive before he even reached Mount Moon, that was for sure.

But, what of this 'broken map' stuff? The trainer wasn't only hopeless, he was an idiot, too. But, maybe she could have some fun with this...

Struggling to supress the persistent giggles, Clarissa switched to her best srs bsn expression. "My my, that's not very good, is it? Being conned like that! The shame of storeclerks these days. When I was a kid, Pokemarts gave better service than this." Clarissa stretched out her hand expectantly. "May I take a look?"
"Pffffft, no way." Keith shied away from her, turning his nose up. "You're like, old! And my moms tell me not to trust strangers, so ppbbbfbffffttttt." He stuck his tongue out at her and blew a very loud raspberry, which his Squirtle joined in on.
Clefairy scrambled up Clarissa's back, perching on the Grunt's hat and hissing threateningly at the mocking kid and pokemon. Clarissa reeled in horror. "O-old?! How dare you! Listen you little squirt, it's called having experience, something that YOU desperately lack. 'Sides, I'm only a couple years older than you!" She smirked. "...And I wouldn't be so rude to someone so much taller than you are, if I were you, Shrimp!" Clarissa reached out and flicked the kid on the forehead with her index finger and stuck her tounge out childishly, Clefairy mimicking her.
Flicking Keith in the face after attempting to kidnap him and steal his Pokémon or whatever? Totally on Keith's list of things that you don't do or else you get raeg'd. Oh, he totally has this list in his backpack. It's frighteningly specific.

"I'm not a SHRIIIMP!" Keith shrieked, and picked up a fistful of dirt and flung it into Clarissa's face. Oh, yeah, Clarissa. Fear his rage.
Clarissa yelled and cursed as she tried to rub dirt out of her eyes with the backs of her hands. She had been unprepared for such a vicious response and had been caught completely off guard. In shock and blinding pain she staggered backwards. Her foot collided with a fallen branch, and she yelped in shock as she fell over backwards, landing heavilly on the ground. Eyes still sealed shut, she shakilly began to pick herself up from the ground, using her hands to support herself.

Eh? Wait just a moment... The grass...felt odd. Parts of it were rough and scratchy, like rope. Clarissa ran her fingers through the grass to check, and her heart sank. The net! She'd forgotten about the damn net! Suddenly she felt herself being wrenched from the ground as with a zipping sound the rope hanging over the branch overhead was pulled on with terrific force. She hung there screaming and swearing, unable to do anything but thrash her arms and legs around wildly.
This was just about the most entertaining thing that had ever happened to Keith in the forest. He decided he didn't hate it so much after all.

He actually collapsed with laughter, clutching his sides and rolling around in the dirt cackling his little twelve year old ass off. "Circus! CIRCUS!"